My Bank Account

My Bank Account

Introduction: Stephen Leacock, the author of “My Bank Account”, was a respectable University Teacher and highly successful with his writing and was a writer of great repute, he excelled in the art of humor. My Bank Account, alive with delicate touches of the same, is an example of short story of rare charm and beauty.

The Story:

The Irresponsible fool: Ascertain man was ever much too afraid to go into a bank and was afraid of the desk, the clerks and even the money. So afraid he was indeed, that he became an irresponsible fool the moment he to do any business there.

The Raise in Salary: None-the-less, when his salary was raised to fifty dollars a month, he made up his mind to put all his savings in a bank which he felt was the only safe place for it.

He goes to a bank: He, therefore, walked into a bank. Needless to say his steps were unsteadily and he looked at the clerks in fear.

A silly Idea: More ever, he had a silly idea that he must talk to the manager before he opened an account in the bank. He felt it was all too necessary.

The Accountant: So he walked up to the accountant who was a tall, cool devil. In a voice, which sounded as if it came from the grave, he asked him, if he could see the manager ‘a lone’.

The Manager: The accountant brought the manager. A calm, serious man, he looked at the newcomer with some anxiety, for he thought he was detective with a terrible secret to tell or else a rich man with a large account to open. To be sure, he took him into a private room and turned the key in the lock. This made him worse so that he hardly found voice to speak. However, it was soon known that he was neither a detective nor a rich man. The manager relieved but grew indifferent. In a cool cruel voice, he told him to go to the accountant. Nervous as never before, he walked into the big iron door of the safe. The manager called him out and showed him the way.

The Account is opened: Back to the accountant, he threw the 56 dollars; he had pressed together in a ball in his pocket, at him with a quick sudden movement, asking him to place it in the bank. At last the account was opened. All this had been too much for him. His face turned terribly pale. His voice was hollow and shaking no longer himself, he felt the bank swing before his eyes.

Another Silly Idea: Another silly idea, then, came into his mind. He wished to draw out six dollars for present use, and asked for a cheque. But instead of writing 6 dollars, he wrote 56 on it. And the mischief was done. The people of the bank were surprised and stopped writing to look at him. One of them asked if he would draw it all out again. Not before long, he realized his mistake. At his wit’s end to reason any more, he felt it was impossible to explain. So he grew bold and careless in his misery declared that he wanted the whole thing back to the last cent.

The Account is closed: Astonished, they paid back all the money in denomination indicated by the strange customer. No sooner did he get the money, and then he rushed out of the bank. A roar of laughter went the air as the big door swung behind him.

Savings in a Sock: Since then he uses a bank no more. Instead, he keeps his money in his pocket and his savings in silver dollars in a sock.

One Act Play 'The Count of Monte Cristo'

One Act Play

A One Act Play: is a short drama depicting a particular incident in the life of a particular character. The incident invariably is significant in revealing of the person’s life in a way that from the part it is easy to understand. The whole, sometimes a plurality of incidents and characters may also occur but even so they are intensely concentrated towards an isolated purpose.

The One Act Play chooses its theme from a large variety of ideas much as politics, war, religion, society, sex and what not. Naturally, this contributes to its immense value and universal appeal which, along with absolute economy of words and a keen, brisk treatment, make the One Act play a powerful weapon in the hands of modern writers.

In its way, the One Act play is closely comparable with the short story. The former has the same place in drama as the latter has in fiction. In neither can the writer invent situations and characters with anything like the complexity and fullness of interest that can be achieved in the full length play or novel. But out of these very limitations, arise the many attracting qualities that make a good one act play or a good shot story irresistible for discerning tastes. The most vivid of these qualities are precision and concentration which find strong expression in all their intensity and simplicity through the medium of the One Act play, making it so rich, sensitive and powerful at the same time.

For all its attractive qualities, the One Act play, however, has not achieved the same place in modern literature as the short story, which is largely due to practical obstacles. The good short story lines in magazines and books but no play, of any kind is really alive until it is performed. Needless to say, the professional theatres have all along given pride of place in entertainment to the full length play while the short play, known as ‘the curtain-raiser’ in stage parlance, has hardly ever found favour and has since gone almost completely out of fashion. Very recently, however, the One Act play has made its re-appearance n the stage and won much applause from the audience. Indeed, master-pieces like ‘The Browing Version’ have wonderfully demonstrated how rich and sensitive a short play can be. Another good reason to be hopeful for the future of the One Act play is that sound broadcasting and more recently, television have come to demand short plays in abundance and attracted seasoned writers to apply their craft to the form. But, more hopeful than anything else, is the popularity of One Act plays in the schools and colleges of English speaking countries which has come to be established all too firmly for they offer splendid entertainment without making large demands upon time, effort and property. Besides, they have a high practical value for the student of a language; it demonstrates the use of the spoken language in vivid, meaningful contexts. For types of language study are at once as useful and enjoyable as the study of a good play.

Two One Act Play

The Count’s Revenge

(By J.H. Wash)

Introduction: - ‘The Count’s Revenge’ is a fine One-Act play presented as a striking place of melodrama. The author, J.H. Wash, skillfully, adopts an incident from “The Count of Monte Cristo”, a famous novel of the 19^th century by the French writer Alexander Dumas.

ANALYTICAL STUDY:

Edmund Dantes – The Sailor of Marseilles:

Long, long ago there lived a poor sailor in Marseilles, a large part on the Mediterrian sea coast of France, His name was Edmund Danties, and He was young and handsome, once he went on a long voyage and returned home after many years.

Mercedes – The Girl from Catalonia:

Not far from his place, lived a girl from Catalonia, a region of Spain. She was called Mercedes. She, too, was young and beautiful. Dantes fell in love with her, Soon he was betrothed to her. He was happy for now he had hopes of being married shortly to his sweet heart.

Fernand Mondego: The Fisherman

But there was also in that city another young man, a fisherman, Fernand Mondego, by name. He was a wicked villain. He resolved to win the Catalan girl from the young sailor.

The Most Devilish: (Plot ever hatched against Mortal)

So he hatched a plot against Dantes. Indeed it was the most devilish plot ever hatched against mortal man. He produced false evidence to show that the sailor was a spy, an agent of the exiled Napoleon Buonaparte, once emperor of France. He was trial in court, convicted as a spy and condemned to imprisonment for life, and then the poor innocent sailor was cast in an underground dungeon on an island fortress to pass the rest of his life as a victim of the black treachery of his rival.

Fernand Mondego Marries Mercedes:

Later on, Mercedes was falsely informed that Danties had died in goal. All men assured her of his death. Sometimes after, his cunning rival, the fisherman, asked her for her hand in marriage. She knew nothing of this villainy and his wickedness. Quite unaware of the deadly wrong he had done, the simple girl was easily taken in and gave her consent. Eventually Fernand Mondego and Mercedes were married together.

Fernand Mondego: (becomes the Count of Morcerf)

Now ever, the wicked rogue got on extremely well in life. He became an officer in the French Army and rose so far as to be a well-to-do nobleman with a distinguished place in society. In due course of time, he became the Count of Morcerf and lived in luxuriously furnished apartments in the Rue-du-Helder in Paris. Weak and fearful as he was always known to be, his pale face, his thin compressed lips and his crafty expression easily defined him as a mean coward, a wicked, heartless villain.

Mercedes (become the Countess of Morcerf)

Needless to say, Mercedes, his wife now became the Countess of Morcerf. The unfortunate woman, soon after her marriage, discovered how mean and heartless her husband was indeed. True to his evil nature, he was often cruel not only to her but also to Albert, their only son. Husband and wife had never been good friends before or they likely to be better friends now. On the other hand, Mercedes had never ceased to respect and admire Dantes and regard him noble.

Albert: Albert, a young French nobleman, was the only son of the Count and the Countess of Morcerf. Extremely sentimental by nature, he was a man of honour and a man of word. He was a close friend of the Count of Monte Cristo.

Beauchamp: Beauchamp was the editor of a Paris newspaper. He, also, was a fast friend of Albert.

The Escape of ‘Edmund Dantes’ from the Dungeon:

The victim of the villainous Mondego, the innocent Dantes, betrayed to a living death, suffered slow, profound external torture in wrongful imprisonment in the underground dungeon on the island fortress for fourteen years. At last chance favoured him. He escaped from the dreadful place.

Edmund Dantes: (become the Count of Monte Cristo)

He travelled and flourished. He re-established himself in life with wonderful speed and success. He grew rich and powerful. Within the short period of six years, he acquired wealth, influence, a title and a dazzling place in French society. He lived like a prince, in the champs Elysses, a fashionable quarter of Paris, as the Count of Monte Cristo, the mysterious stranger, who cloaked the person of Dantes splendidly dressed, handsome, gay, cymical, not very young, with a touch of the devil in him, he was ever his ordinary smiling self. No wonder, he had taken all Paris by storm with his noble, charming, even obliging manners so that he was loved and admired by all. Moreover, the spirit of chivalry, romance and adventure raged a strong in him. He was a good swordsman and a wonderful shot. His pistol never missed its aim, so excellent was his marksmanship indeed. He often travelled on holidays to Rome, to Normandy, to any place that caught his fancy.

He always made it his first duty on returning to Paris from any journey to pay his compliments to the Countess of Morcerf. He was a close friend of her son Albert as well. He often went with him to spend his holidays together to places like Rome and Normandy. Once he had actually saved his life from death. He was like a father to Albert.

In fact, many were the kindnesses he had shown to mother and son and helped them in many ways. But there was one thing that struck singularity strange about him. He never broke bread in the house of Morcerf. He strictly followed the Arab custom not to eat in the house of a deadly enemy who was Cristo’s enemy. All his enmity was directed against Morcerf who had so mortally offended him in the past.

The Count’s Revenge:

( Searching Investigations:-His one and only aim of life all along was to seek vengeance upon Fernand Mondego, now the count of Morcerf, the man who had done him deadly wrong for fourteen years which, unmistaken ably, is a large slice from a man’s life. There was time enough for him to plan his revenge. Determined to pay back his bitter rival and enemy in his own coins, he made ‘an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth’ the motto of his own life. Ruthlessly, relentlessly, he pursued his wrong – door and ferreted his secrets. At last yet another gross, act of villainy committed by Morcerf came to light during the searching investigations.
The crime of High Treason:- In 1823 when the French and the Turks were at war, Morcerf then a captain in the French Army, received bribes from the Turks and surrendered the French Fortress of Yanins to them. The Count of Monte Cristo unearthed documents, signed, sealed and witnessed, which were unassailable proofs of Morcerf’s guilt. He even found out an eye witness, a woman, who was actually present at the scene of the crime. So, it was not he but Morcerf, who was a traitor to his people, who had betrayed his country, and who had committed the heinous crime of high treason against the motherland.
The Count of Monte Cristo wreaks his vengeance: - At last the count of Monte Cristo wreaked his vengeance. Keeping himself in the background, he brought the accusations of the crime first in the press and then in parliament.

Notes written by al-saudia Expert English Language Home Tutor in Karachi.

Birkenhead

BIRKENHEAD DRILL

The Birkenhead: The Birkenhead was a troopship. It carried troops across the seas.

The Voyage: In February 1851, more than a hundred years ago, it happened to be sailing to Cape Town in South Africa. It was carrying soldiers and their families on board. The voyage had been uneventful so far; the sea was calm as it was sound asleep.

The Passengers: There were 630 passengers on the ship. Of these, 460 were soldiers and 170 were women and children. The soldiers were young and inexperienced. So were the few officers. Needless to say, they were not used to facing dangers.

The Hidden Rock: An unknown rock lay hidden under the sea, forty miles from Cape Town. It was like a wild creature of the ocean, lying in wait for its prey.

The Prey: The prey was the troopship Birkenhead. It was approaching fast. It was quite unaware of its fate.

The collision: At two O’clock, in the early morning of February 25^th 1851, the Birkenhead struck the hidden rock. Ten minutes after, ship sank forthwith. The other half, however, remained afloat, worst of all; only three of the several lifeboats were left in a useful condition.

The Passengers after the collision: Awakened by the sudden crash, the unfortunate passengers ran out of their cabins and crawled to the deck of that half of the ship that was still afloat. For the time being at least they were safe.

Certain Death: Almost all the passengers faced certain death. Only 180 people could find room in the three lifeboats, 60 in each. The rest had no chance of life. The treacherous waters would drown them or else the hungry sharks would devour them. There was every cause for panic, for life is sweet.

If a Panic: If there had been a panic on the Birkenhead, not one of the 630 people would have been saved. All would have struggled to get into one of the lifeboats. Many would have been crushed under feet. Many would have been pushed into the sea. Boats might have been overloaded and sunk. The strongest would have won their way to the boats. The weakest – woman and children, the old and the sick – would have been left to their fate. Such things had happened before. But, strange to say, there was no panic on the Birkenhead. The troops showed remarkable discipline and great heroism.

Women and Children First: “Women and children first’, was the order of the day. The soldiers and sailors stood on the deck in proper drill order, line upon line, rank by rank. The boats were lowered. The women and children filled them. As they sailed away, the men calmly awaited their fate with set faces.

Discipline and Gallantry: These brave souls set an example of discipline and gallantry. The heroic action of the commander of the troops can hardly meet a parallel anywhere. He was hanging on to wreckage. He saw two young sailors struggling in the water. He pushed the wreckage towards them. The three hold on to it. It was not strong enough for all three. So he let go his hold and himself chose to die.

One of the survivors reported that the determination of all hands was far more than could be effected by the best discipline. Everyone did as directed. Everyone was loyal to himself and to his duty. And never was a word of hoard.

The meaning of the Birkenhead Drill: Ever since Birkenhead Drill – Woman and Children First has been the order followed on all ships that are in danger. “Birkenhead Drill” mean today “to stand and be still’ facing certain death, so that weaker ones may have a chance of life.

Question and Answer:

Q.1.

Ans: The Birkenhead sank forty miles from Cape Town on 25^th February 1851.

Q.2.

Ans: The Birkenhead was carrying soldiers and their families.

Q.3.

Ans: The Birkenhead was wrecked because it struck a rock hidden under the sea. The rock was hidden under the sea. It was unknown & undiscovered. It was not shown in the sea maps. So the crew of the ship was not to blame.

Q.4.

Ans: When the ship struck against the rock, most of the lifeboats were damaged or destroyed. Only three were in a useful condition. Each boat could carry just 60 passengers. So there was lifeboat accommodation for 180 people in all after the collision with the rock.

Q.5.

Ans: Yes, there was enough room in the lifeboats for all the women and children on board. The women and children were only 130 in number but there was lifeboat accommodation for 180.

Q.6.

Ans: If there had been a panic on the Birkenhead, not one of the 630 people would have been saved. All the passengers would have made wild efforts to get into the boats. Men, Women and Children would have been crushed under feet. They would have pushed one another into the sea. The boats might have been overloaded and sunk under the weight. Such things had happened in panic before. The same would have happened again.

Q.7.

Ans: The sailors showed perfect discipline and great heroism. They stood at attention as if a drill. With set faces, they awaited their fate calmly as the boats sailed away with the women and children.

Q.8.

Ans: Only a few of the men left on the sinking ship was rescued. They struggled to the surface of the sea and held on to pieces of wreckage. A rescue ship arrived on the scene and picked them up.

Q.9.

Ans: The commander of the ship acted with great heroism. He was hanging on to wreckage in the sea. He saw two young sailors struggling in the water for their lives. He pushed the wreckage towards them. All the three held on to it. Soon the commander realized that the wreckage was not strong enough for all three. So he let go his hold and himself chose to die.

Q.10.

Ans: No, the troops on board the Birkenhead were not experienced. They were not used to facing danger. An officer of the troops rescued by the rescue ship reported that the troops behaved with gallantry and discipline unto the very last.

As You Like It

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A song from ‘As You Like It’

By William Shakespeare

William Shakespeare: William Shakespeare is the greatest play Wright of England. Many would say that he was the greatest dramatist in world literature. He wrote many kinds of drama – history, romance, comedy and tragedy. His plays are famous all over the world. He was a great poet, too. He wrote many songs and sonnets. He was a wonderful poetic craftsman indeed. No writer has peopled his works with such a wide range of characters or touches so many aspects of human behaviors. No poetry can excel his in power and beauty. His genius has hardly any parallel in drama or poetry. To know English and not to read Shakespeare is a misfortune of the worst kind.

As You Like It: ‘As You Like It’ is one of the most popular comedies of William Shakespeare.

The Song: The song is from the play, “As You Like It’, a very popular comedy written by William Shakespeare. It is sung by Amiens, a character in the play. Amiens is a nobleman. He lives the life of an exile with a Duke and his followers in the Forest of Arden. The wicked brother of the Duke has robbed him of his estate and driven him into exile. Like all the songs of Shakespeare, this one too is completely relevant to the situation.

Context: These lines are from a song in the play, “As You Like It’, a very popular comedy written by William Shakespeare. The song is sung by Amiens, a character in the play. Amiens is a nobleman. He lives the life of an exile with a Duke and his followers in the Forest of Arden. The wicked brother of the Duke has robbed him of his estate and driven him into exile. Amiens sings that life in the forest is simple and happy. One has to face winter and rough weather, no doubt, but is free from the tortures of human enemies.

Explanation: (1) Amiens invites his listeners to the pleasant life of the forest. The trees are green in spring and summer. The birds sing sweet songs. Those, who are fond of this kind of life and love to sing with the birds, may come and live in the forest. Of course, they will have to face some hardship when the cold weather sets in a stormy winds blow but there will be no human enemies to torture them.

(2) Amiens invites his listeners to the pleasant life of the forest, whoever keep himself away from worldly ambitions and loves free life in the open air, will find happiness in the woods. Of course, he will have to hunt his own food and be satisfied with what he gets. He will also have to face some hardships when cold weather sets in a stormy winds blow. But there will, certainly, be no human enemies to torture them.